Further Scenes from a TiTTi bar

Well, Friday night was supposed to be THE big night for Liaoyang, the TiTTi bar was officially opening, and we were guests of honour. Alas, like much else in this town, twas a disappointment.

Here I am at the door, brimming with excitement:





and here I am inside, with Raphael, Andrew, and The Proprietor. Frank took the photo, and there was waiter guy sitting in back there. This was the sum total of patrons on the supposed grand opening of Liaoyang's hottest new night-spot.



In that photo, or shortly after, The Proprietor is trying to convince us to come back at 9.57 on Saturday morning, a time that various numeroligical consultants have assured her is the most propitious. "That's when TiTTi bar really opens". She assured us. Oddly enough however, the allure of TiTTi bar had begun to wear off by this point. (As an aside, those of you who have known me since I was 14 may recognise the shirt Andrew is wearing).

Promising (lying) to return the next morning at 9.57 sharp, we toddled around the corner to "That bar with the Chinese name were Lulu works" (For the record, the other bars in Liaoyang are referred to as: "Woodstock", "That other bar next to Woodstock", "That bar with the really bad music" and of course "TiTTi Bar".)

We were fortunate enough to arrive there when the owner was entertaining some Party Bigwigs, and, by managing to outdrink them all, I gained a shiny VIP card. I have no idea what it actually does, but its gold and made of metal and it says "VIP" so I feel special. I may have also agreed to marry someone's niece and sell New Zealand's state secrets to China, but they were paying and my nations reputation was at stake, so we kept drinking well past what might be deemed reasonable.


12 days left. oh yes.

The not-so-great wall of Liaohua

Well folks, I've managed to find a way back into blogger that runs at a reasonably usable speed (using about four different proxy type things in unison – I have no idea what any of it does, but seems to work.) So anyway, Internet police kicking in my front door and dragging me off to Internet jail notwithstanding, I should be able to post a bit more regularly now. Hopefully I can post the back-log of comments that I wasn't able to put up either.


And now, onto today's scheduled entertainment:


So I bought a bike a couple of weeks ago, as a handy means of getting round in Liaoyang, which is pretty flat and sprawling. Once you forget about such quaint western notions as 'helmet' 'lights' and 'road rules' its a nice way to see the city. For a change of scene, Paul, Andrew and I decided last weekend to head to Liao Hoa, which is a sort of village about 40 minutes (by bike) south of Liaoyang proper. So we set out, on a gentle incline into a slight, but persistent headwind. Me on my fancy schmancy mountain bike with such trimmings as gears and things, Paul and Andrew on the more traditional, fixed gear Chinese style workhorse. Suffice to say several kilometers and a bunch of gear changes later, I was glad I spent the extra 100 or so RMB.

We passed a small war cemetery on the way (not sure which war) which was fairly interesting, and the skeleton of a pretty huge stadium that they're building out in the fields. For what? I have no idea, there was a suggestion that some of the Football games in the Olympics might be played down the road in Shenyang, so maybe they'll be using it for training or some such. If so, Liaoyang's got some cleaning up to do.

Anyway, Liao Hoa.

There's a saying in China that you aren't truly a man until you have walked on the great wall. By this reckoning, I figure I'm now about 1/100th of man. Liao Hoa, in a typically Chinese attempt at getting the punters in, decided to build a sort of mini-Great Wall a couple of years back. Also in typical Chinese fashion, it seems that they sunk a whole lot of money into building the wall, furnishing it with a lovely asphalt car park, hedge maze, and crazy "Animals of the Zodiac Statuary Petting Zoo", then totally lost interest and/or ran out of cash. What this means is that you spend about half an hour wandering around the grounds of some Liao Hoa chemical concern, wondering just how much damage that smell is doing to your brain, and looking for one of about 5 nondescript and completely unsignposted roads that heads up the hill to the 'great' wall. Its kind of like stumbling upon an abandoned theme-park in the middle of a bunch of factories. In fact that's exactly what its like.

Enough chit-chat. Onto some images.

Residents of Liaoyang will tell you that Liao Hoa is very beautiful. It is a lot newer than most other places I've seen, but row upon row of identical apartment buildings, against a backdrop of smoke spewing chimneys, isn't exactly my idea of beautiful (those buildings in the foreground are under construction).



So here's the xiǎo cháng chéng (small great wall, if I may be allowed to invent Chinese names) in all its glory:



And speaking of things that are in all their glory:



Take that everybody who's never straddled a tank before.

There were some cool old A-frame houses up by the wall, but they were unoccupied and full to the rafters with rubbish. I'm assuming the owners moved out when the local government (or whoever built the wall) came to them and said “We're going to place these huge concrete dragons on your roofs. I hope you built sturdy”.



And, proving that I was not just being alarmist before, even large stone structures are not immune to the inexorable onslaught of the ladybug menace:



On the way out of town, we spotted this building, and its identical counter-part directly across the intersection. Impressive no? Oddly (and yet, increasingly unsurprisingly) both buildings are completely empty. I mean completely, bare concrete shells with a few supporting beams inside. Like so many things in this country, their origin and purpose is beyond the ken of a simple-minded Laowai like me.



Looks like wikipedia is down again in China too. The party giveth...

Tomorrow night: The great Chinese/American/New Zealander drinking party, at the best damn dumpling restaurant in town. The language barrier will add an interesting flavour to what promises to be a night of brain and liver damaging macho-posturing. There may be tales to tell.

Stay tuned Decadentwesterndogkateers.

The streets of Liaoyang

Weather: Smoggy and Muggy. (Smuggy)
Music: This Bike is a Pipe Bomb - Imperfection



Okay, so here's a photo-heavy one, of the merry little metropolis that is Liaoyang City.

Where the hell is Liaoyang City? Good question. Hereabouts (click for a more eyeball friendly version):



First, some fun facts:

Liaoyang is one of the oldest inhabited cities in China (well over a 1000 years, but you'd have to dig through a few layers of cement to find anything older than 1950). Japan and Russia have both stomped through here at various points, usually on their way to, or back from, killing each other for some reason or other. The population is about 700,000 in the urban bits, about 1.8 million if you include the outlying areas. Its about 1 hour by plane to Beijing. Number one question people will ask you, as a foreigner, in Liaoyang: "Why would you come here?!?"


If Liaoyang is famous for anything (which it isn't) it would be this, the White Pagoda. It's a hair shy of 750 years old I think (built during the Yuan Dynasty if someone wants to look it up).




Still, the local government felt that this ancient wonder could do with a bit of 'buddhisting up' so about six years ago, they built this kitschy temple-o-rama next door:



The bottom floor is where you pay your 50 yuan entrance fee (probably more than a tenth of most people's weekly earnings), and the whole facility is manned by a staff of professional and courteous monks, who have managed to 'streamline' the years of training, dedication and mental and spiritual effort of buddhism into a four-week course, after which they are qualified to monk to their hearts content between the hours of 8am and 5pm, six days a week. Apparently they have the largest wooden buddha in China too.

To complete the tourist trap, they have a big gate thing, with lions.



I did find this cool little sculpture in a bush around the corner though.



On to the streets:





Here you will find many wonderful goods and services, such as the friendly SIM card street dealers who you have to wade through to get to the mall



Despite being a 'communist' country, its pretty much all shopping and signage round Liaoyang town, though there is the occassional throwback:



You're far more likely to see stuff like this:




And if this aint capitalism, I don't know what is:



What would Mao think?

Almost forgot: Liaoyang has a moat! Take that not-moat-having cities of the world!



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